Recovery & Reevaluation

It's National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) and it's the perfect time to reflect on our infertility journey and reevaluate our approach & strategy and think about what's next. We have plans to resume treatment in 2017 but, as we have discovered in the past, taking time to recover from treatment is necessary.

So, what's next? 

Taking a few months off from the tests and treatments is vital. The only difficult part is getting back into the infertility routine; labs, appointments, medications, etc. You know how life goes; routines are life and adding something back in takes time, but I'm getting there. 

What are we doing?

Right now we're not doing anything with the assistance of medicine. We're taking time for our mental health and making ourselves our best selves.

We're back into a gym routine (lost over 10% of my body weight [insert heart eye emoji here]) 

We've put energy into designing and decorating our basement. 

We've had a lot of fun making new things in the kitchen [hey, blue apron!].

What's working? & What isn't? 

Nothing has helped us conceive yet (obviously). Would losing weight help? A different diet? Other treatments? Because nothing has worked, why not change it up?

I am working with my endocrinologist to get my prolactin levels under control. Will that help? Maybe. But it can't hurt and that's the boat that we're in right now. 

What can I do better?

Once we're back into treatments I need to keep my worldview broad. My life isn't defined by this one thing.

There you have it, an update (of sorts)

In a few short days I'll be in the valley of the sun for some hiking, relaxation and Vitamin D. The perfect reset button.

better. not bitter.

4 months since my last post. Sorry. I spent way too much time thinking about a clever re-intro, but came up with nothing. 

In the land of fertility treatments, nothing is new. We attempted two additional cycles since I last blogged with no success. And then the deja vu sets in; at a routine appointment my doctor noticed that my prolactin levels were increased - she ordered an MRI - the MRI was normal - I was referred to an endocrinologist - endocrinologist prescribes medication - we take a break. 

Sound familiar? If no, check out this post. 

In other news; I got inked. For my birthday, my incredibly thoughtful husband dog surprised me.. big time. The consult, appointment, everything was setup and ready for me. I was in awe of his thoughtfulness. So, what does my tattoo mean? It's initials and in morse code: 

PM, BM, CM

PM - Y'all should get this one. 

BM - Blube Mahal. When we were pregnant and found out that the pregnancy was lost, the baby was the size of a blueberry and we affectionately called it Blube. I'm not still 'holding on' to the loss or dwelling on the past, but Blube has shaped my life, marriage, strength, personality.. everything. It is a constant reminder (when I remember that I have a tattoo ;)). 

CM - Charlie Mahal. This is for the girl that made me a dog mom. I'll go ahead and spare the corniness, but her initials deserve a place on me forever. 

And, finally to the title of this blog post; better. not bitter. It is the New Year after all and time for resolutions. I want to be a better person, drink good wine, be thoughtful, have fun, try new things and be the best me. I can spend my time wallowing and being sad or I can be better.

Until next time... 

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