Holy S*#t!

To be completely blunt, these past 5 years have sucked. Every single pregnancy announcement, every crying baby, every rejection, every needle, and every setback. The universe has tested me. Despite these years being the hardest of my life -- they've been the best. These years have made my marriage incredibly strong. They've made me incredibly strong. They've made me appreciative. They made me a(dog)mom. 

These years have been everything. 

These years have lead me to where I am today...

15 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby.

I am so overwhelmed with emotion even typing those words. 15. weeks. pregnant. healthy. baby.

How did we get here?

Our frozen embryo transfer (FET) took place in early August. And like our first cycle, everything went "perfect". Only this time I didn't follow the rules and started taking home pregnancy tests (HPTs) 5 days after the transfer. 

Positive, positive, positive. They were all positive. 

I tested everyday, multiple times per day. We should have bought stock in those tests. We'd be rich!

Then came the blood draw. The real test since the HPTs can be unreliable (the reason phil and my clinic told me to stay away).

You know the old adage "a watched pot never boils"? Maybe we would update it for the 21st century to be "a watched cell phone never rings". I watched and waited and at long last.. I missed the call.

Beta 1 = 649

The first beta is a good indication of how everything is going, but it needs to double in 48 hours or there could be cause for concern. 

Fertility treatments are one big waiting game. Waiting for calls. Waiting for results. Waiting for news - both good & bad. And waiting 2 measly days between beta blood tests. 

While I was still taking HPTs and they were still positive, there's no better indication that it worked than these darn blood tests.

Beta 2 = 2724

Holy S*#t! We were pregnant. 

But then we waited again. And this time longer than the 2 measly days between beta blood tests. Two whole weeks. Two weeks. Two weeks + anxiety. Anxiety is that evil bitch who rears her ugly head in the times when you need to keep her buried away. 

The morning of our first ultrasound finally came. Finally. And it should come as no surprise that I was a ball of emotions. While we waited for the tech, I made Phil tell me about his walk with Charlie that morning to keep the tears at bay. He told me the story to keep my mind off the baby and all I thought about was the baby. 

"There's the baby. There's the heartbeat" 

These 6 words might have had more impact on my life than any others. 

After another 2 weeks and another emotion filled ultrasound, we finally graduated from the reproductive endocrinologist. Sorry PLHS grads, this graduation day was far, far sweeter.

And, maybe best of all. Our first child is getting a sibling. 

So, that's it. Life is now filled with new anxieties and emotions but they're so, so welcome and we couldn't be more excited. Thanks for reading. Thanks for tagging along with us. Just, Thanks.