I'ma keep running

In my last post I mentioned that my body was responding to the injectables. It was a long 20+ days but things were moving in the right direction. Well, after the positive response, the follicles on the ovaries are stimulated and there are [approximately] 4 million additional hoops that need to be jumped through in order to get pregnant. 

Our first IUI did not work. The silver lining is this; we responded and arrived at the point where we could give it a shot!

The news was hard to hear. PJ brought home pizza, we drank good wine and cuddled with our girl; the best cure for a positively shitty day.

Just about the time where we came to accept our failure and were ready to move on, we find out that our next cycle is cancelled. Cancelled. Cancelled due to cysts on my ovaries. I'm telling you, infertility is not for the faint of heart.

This turn of events is not ideal but there is nothing we can do [have to keep telling myself that] so we keep our heads up and keep on keeping on. Keep our heads up and obviously take advice from Beyonce. 

Switching gears. Tyler's Married!

WOAH.

My little brother is hitched and we had a great time celebrating. I laughed, cried and was so proud of him. 

rehearsal dinner

sibs

best of the best

mothers day

Mothers Day was tough. I didn't think it was going to be.. at all! I woke up and checked my twitter and facebook - like I do every morning - and it was like Mothers Day threw up all over my social media. And I cried.

We went to Home Depot to pick up some flowers. And I cried.

We came home and got ready for brunch. And I cried... Are you getting the theme here?

After brunch I took a long, amazing nap and woke up to a text from my bffffff, Em. There was a post on FB that she wanted to check out. I think it's so thoughtful and powerful that I just want to read it every day:

To those who gave birth this year to their first child - we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year - we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains - we appreciate  you

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions or running away - we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears and disappointment - we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don't mean to make this harder than it is

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms or spiritual moms - we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children - we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heart ache and distance with your children - we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year - we grieve with you

To those who experience abuse at the hands of your own mother - we acknowledge your experience

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood - we are better for having your in our midst

To those who have aborted children - we remember them and you on this day

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children - we mourn that live has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

To those who step-parent - we walk with you on these complex paths

To those who envisioned lavishing love of grandchildren yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year - we grieve and rejoice with you

To those who placed children up for adoption - we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart

And to this who are pregnant with new live, both expected and surprising - we anticipate with you

This Mothers Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.

No matter how hard Mother's Day was for me, there are real amazing women - Mothers and non - who are truly amazing. I am so lucky to have each and every one of them in my life.

Enough of the mushy stuff. Happy Monday, y'all.

xo - Amanda