Tonight I decided to combine all three of my blogs (baby mahal blog, first blog and new blog). I was going through posts - editing, cleaning up, etc. and came across the post when we first met with our RE (reproductive endo) and made a plan for baby Mahal. Want to know when that post was? APRIL 2013 - two years ago. Two years ago we made a plan and set forth to have a little one and here we are April 2015 and we don't.
If April 2015 Amanda would have told April 2013 Amanda that I'd be where I am; crazy happy with my husband and (fur)baby - I would have laughed at her. Screamed at her. Told her she was wrong. Because how on earth could we have been so hopeful and two years later there would still be nothing.
Here's the thing: It's a struggle every day. I think about it (pretty much) every day. I can be having the best day ever and hear that somebody is expecting and I get a deep pit in my stomach and my eyes well up with tears. It is gut wrenching and tough but I deal - we deal.
I wonder what April 2017 Amanda would have to tell me? I can't (and can) wait to find out.
Enough mushy stuff for one night. Peace, folks.
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